Talking to Children About LGBTQ Familes *A Free Online Resource*

Even before children are old enough to understand verbal language, they are learning about and observing human relationships, identity, and family structures. For all parents, it can be challenging to communicate difficult concepts such as marriage, reproduction, adoption, and human relationships.

For LGBTQ parents, we may find it especially difficult to talk about and explain our families and relationships to children in age-appropriate ways. Consider the following: "Where do I come from?" - "Why am I the only brown one in our family?" - "Some kids asked me if my mom is a lesbian. I don't know what to do." - "Why does Maria have a mom and a dad?" - "Everyone uses 'gay' as an insult and the teachers don't say anything."

The Boston based Family Equality Counsel has produced a free six-page publication entitled Talking to Children About our Families to help LGBTQ parents talk about and explain their families to children of various ages. Download it here. The publication contains age-appropriate language and examples of the type of questions you might expect from your own children or other children in your life.

As the publication explains:

"The presumption of a mother and father creating a child (which may be valid for some of our children) is one with which our children will be saturated through their daily interactions with children’s books, the media, school personnel, peer discussions and exposure to various family models. It is your job as a parent, whether you identify as part of the LGBTQ community or not, to teach your children about different family constellations."


and goes on to point out that:

"Very young children are not naturally inclined to make judgments about family structure. They see family configurations as a matter of fact. As children become a part of the larger peer culture, they will be exposed to other peoples' judgments of their families. The earlier children are given appropriate information about their lives and their families, the easier it will be for them to understand and appreciate them."