Domestic Violence in the Gay Community; Information and Resources

The Gay Mens Domestic Violence Project in Cambridge, Massachusetts, estimates that 1 in 4 gay men will experience some sort of abuse in the context of an intimate relationship with another man. A 2002 study conducted among approximately 2,881 men in the cities of San Fransisco, Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago, reported the following rates of abuse among men in relationships with other men:

• Psychological/symbolic battering 34%
• Physical battering 22%
• Sexual battering 5%
  

The Massachusetts Abuse Prevention Act (M.G.L. c. 209A, commonly referred to as "209A") defines abuse as the occurrence of one or more of the following acts between family or household members:

• attempting to cause or causing physical harm;
• placing another in fear of imminent serious physical harm; or
  
• causing another to engage involuntarily in sexual relations by force, threat of force or duress.
  

Chapter 209A protects victims of abuse regardless of the gender of the victim or perpetrator. According to the GMDVP website, some examples of the types of relationships covered by "209A" include: an ex-lover/partner, a lover/partner living in the same household, a lover/partner living in a different household, a spouse or an ex-spouse, a roommate/housemate, a caregiver living in the same household, a person with whom you had or have a dating-type relationship, for a while.

As the Gay Mens Domestic Violence Project website points out, domestic violence can affect victims in almost every aspect of their life, including Housing, Education, Employment, Immigration, and Child Support/Visitation.

One option for victims of abuse, although not always the most effective, is to obtain a restraining order against their abuser in the Probate and Family Court or District Court. A person may seek a restraining order, regardless of sexual orientation, age, gender, or marital status, to prevent future incidents of abuse. Violation of a restraining order by the abuser is a criminal offense in Massachusetts, and there are no court costs for victims in obtaining one.

Through a restraining order, you can ask a judge to order any or all of the following:

• that the abuser not abuse you from now on (typically known as “refrain from abuse”)
• that the abuser leave the apartment or house if you live together (a “vacate order”) regardless of whether the abuser’s name is on the lease or mortgage; (an order requiring the abuser to leave his or her leased apartment or owned home will be temporary)
• that the abuser surrender weapons (guns), ammunition and/or Firearm ID Card, etc.
• that the abuser stay a certain distance away from you; that the abuser have no further contact with you, whether directly or through a third party (for example through friends, co-workers, or family members)
• that you be granted temporary custody; temporary child support; reimbursement for expenses related to the abuse
• that the abuser return items that they possess which would grant them access to you, including keys, garage door opener, etc.

The GMDVP publishes a two-page Domestic Violence Services Brochure, which can be downloaded here in its entirety, and which contains information on identifying abuse, getting emergency help, safety and legal resources, and support.